Because if we assume that having kids is all about parenting and selflessly giving a good education to another human being, then why not consider adopting, instead of having an extension from your own DNA? Why not educate someone who is already on this earth, already in need of being taken care of, rather than adding another one? See, when you have an empty notebook, you fill it, you don’t go and buy another one. In fact, your parenting is even more meaningful when you give it to someone who is not of your own; an innocent will to do good for others

Not that you choose giving birth or not, since that’s something a lot of people take for granted, but the insisting will of some people to have a miniature extension of themselves is quite unreasonable and I would add, somewhat selfish. Because if we assume that having kids is all about parenting and selflessly giving good education to another human being, then why not consider adopting, instead of having an extension from your own DNA? Why not educate someone who is already on this earth, already in need of being taken care of, rather than adding another one? See, when you have an empty notebook, you fill it, you don’t go and buy another one. In fact, your parenting is even more meaningful when you give it to someone who is not of your own; an innocent will to do good for others.

But really, what am I? A 20 years old young lady who can’t even take care of her balcony plants, speaking in vitro and not having a real experience about this, perhaps I missed something in here. Perhaps the notion of parenting includes some unexplained feeling between a mother and her child during pregnancy, breastfeeding or the umbilical cordon being a reminder of a vulnerable start in a fragile uterus. What a start, ladies and gents!

What is even more absurd is during pregnancy or even before, attitudes of some type of JavaScript programming are observable; I’m talking about the “I want it to be a boy” or the “he better not have a –insert character- as his –insert relative-”, let alone the “If just he could have his grand-ma’s blue eyes”, as if blue eyes will miraculously make him happier (do they?). No wonder the guy gets out crying from down there; after 9 months where he had nothing to say and only echoed, he spills all that emotional damage in one shivering cry; and that’s when the doctor says he’s normal. What a world! Yes, kids are cute( not at 4 am when they start crying though). The big innocent eyes, the fluffy cheeks, the soft skin infused with a joyous smell, the itsy-bitsy socks…it’s all cute.

In fact, in 2016 a large-scale of “cuteness” was observable according to HCP* the number of households in the urban region of Casa/settat was around a 1 304 970 (boring statistics).

The question is, how many of these people “realize” that birth is irreversible? Have they thought about how they’ll educate their kids, the Do’s and Don’ts when it comes to a “life changing” decision in his or her 20’s? Have they thought about the possibility that the kid could be born handicapped and if they’re strong enough to deal with it? Have they thought about all that genetically modified food he will be consuming in this era? The toxic social media addiction in his 17 or 18( which will probably go unnoticed since he will be used to do whatever he likes, some sort of sacred Maya to whom they bring food and respect ).

Have they thought about making him a list of books that he’ll read at each age?  I agree, this one is quite overemphasized. Have they thought about the fact they’re not just adding a number to some civil record; but they’re bringing a mass of emotions and virgin energy to this life, a god damn responsibility that requires “Commitment”, and it would be a waste to do it just because you think that kids are “cute”.

(Also, it would be a waste of diapers)

Perhaps those people are way more of believers than I am, they give birth knowing that God will take care of the rest. But again isn’t that called pacifism?

Assuming that parents already have the answers for this, or assuming that realistically speaking, giving a kid a perfect education is like finding out an explanation for the Codex Seraphinianus; it doesn’t exist. Assuming this and that a final simple question is left, Why would you specifically choose to give all of this care to someone of your own?

It’s like when you get in a pet shop and pick the kitten that suits your own definition of “cute” You pick him and not the others because you know he’s staying with you, he’s going to be YOURS, you’re giving him the food, and he’ll give you the company.

You choose to have kids and not adopt because, when you raise your own kid and he succeeds in achieving what you failed at, you feel (more) successful as well, you feel complete. You can finally brag/compare him to your friend’s. You can finally see your last name in the “success list”. On his turn, your successor will have his own kid, his double; a viscous trigonomical circle that will always tend to reach a 2P. You choose to have kids and not adopt because that is one of the ways society will take you seriously, you will finally be called “rajel boulado” or finally a firm that you are a woman with functional breasts (congrats?). You choose to have kids and not adopt, because you think that an adopted kid will always look for his biological parents and praise them; which does happen, if you base your relationship with him on lies.

Keep it clear.

“I didn’t give birth to you, and you’re not an extension of my DNA. But we do have the same human genes, and at some point of your life and mine, we were destined to meet, live together, and make you the inheritor of my knowledge and way of life, I will make you see the real beauty of life, the one which says that spreading kindness isn’t limited to people of our own blood.”

So yeah, in case you really cared about some 20 years old lady naïve opinion about adoption, kids and diapers, this is it ; yes, kids are cute. Bad news is, they grow up. And sometimes they can grow-up to be ungrateful and selfish kids, at times too selfish they would write an article about adoption.

🧠 Opinions : Les points de vue exprimés dans cet article sont strictement ceux de l'auteur et ils ne reflètent pas forcément ceux de Pokemag